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Post by denise on Jan 22, 2009 13:25:10 GMT -5
 Denise/Dave, If sleeping dogs were meant to lie, then many laws would not have been changed for the betterment or to provide equal rights for all.  Or maybe we just have a whole lot of lawmakers that see the white fluffy clouds, rainbows and unicorns through their rose colored glasses. Sorry, you just aren't going to change my mind. And this is coming from the person whose dear friend called them in the middle of the night to ask if I knew that he was adopted. |
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Post by Clipper on Jan 22, 2009 13:42:36 GMT -5
Sometimes a subject becomes such that we have to simply agree to disagree. There often is no middle ground, and to beleaguer the point becomes futile.
While others may have an opinion on the subject at hand, I see an image in my head of both denise and bobbbiez standing toe to toe, banging foreheads until you both bleed, LOL.
This could become like the old threads on the OD forums of days gone by, concerning gay marriage, abortion, snowmobile accidents, and others that went on and on and on, and nobody's mind was changed.
The difference is that on this forum, it remains civil and without personal attacks or hard feelings. I hope it stays that way. I am sure that there are postives and negatives related to the issue at hand. While a person deserves to know their ancestory, I can also see the points made by denise and Dave.
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Post by bobbbiez on Jan 22, 2009 18:56:57 GMT -5
Denise, my focus was not to change your mind for one reason. That being I find unless you yourself are an adopted child you can not even come close to realizing what they go through most of their lives. Explained better in the old saying, "until you walk a mile in my shoes." My focus in starting this topic (which I did state in my original post) was in hopes that some of our local legislators would read it and would investigate the avenues other states are practicing who have opened their sealed adoption records already and get something moving here in NYS. Make no mistake it will happen here eventually. It has become an issue of one having their rights as all others, "birth rights." Interested parties are just trying to push up the process. I thank you and others for giving your opinion because it gave me the opportunity to state the adopted child's case. That's exactly what I wanted. The more it is discussed the more our legislators can no longer ignore the issue.
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Post by bobbbiez on Jan 22, 2009 19:05:29 GMT -5
God Clipper, we're not in grade school any more.  Give yourself a break. You don't always have to play referee. Most here on the forum have the common sense to remain civil and discuss issues without the personal attacks or give hard feelings.  I for one know, that one can not get their point across by loosing their cool. It gets lost in the shuffle with anger.  Relax my friend. All is good.
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Post by Clipper on Jan 23, 2009 1:35:05 GMT -5
Oh rest assured. I was not refereeing. I was laughing my ass off, trying to figure out who's turn it was to post. I envisioned you two butting heads well into the 22nd century with no resolution or agreement, haha. I don't worry about you two getting into it. I was simply enjoying the banter and busting your chops sunshine. I don't know Denise except from here on the forum, but I KNOW you and I KNOW you are here for the duration, hahaha. Hell, it's been a long time since we had to "moderate" any squabbles on here. It has not been a problem with this forum at all. We have only had a couple of occasions when something needed to be said, and a couple have chose not to take note of moderator interdiction and have left the forum of their own accord. This is the Bobbbiez I know. She doesn't give up or give in, haha!  |
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Post by bobbbiez on Jan 23, 2009 16:13:38 GMT -5
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Post by bobbbiez on Jan 23, 2009 16:17:14 GMT -5
Yeah, and yours will become even shorter very soon. ;D 
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Post by Clipper on Jan 23, 2009 16:21:02 GMT -5
Oh crap, you are a psychic too!!  I pick on ya, but I respect and envy your tenacity and dedication to whatever you are involved in. It is a wonderful trait and should not go unnoticed. You are a pain in the butt, but you are wonderfully caring and compassionate pain in the butt kiddo. We all love ya sunshine, but I have the distinction, along with Frank, and Ralph, of knowing you better than most, and WE ALL love to bust your chops, LOLOL!  Hey, you didn't get the nickname Sunshine by being miserable and nasty, right? |
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Post by bobbbiez on Jan 23, 2009 16:23:40 GMT -5
Yepper! ;D Watch your back my friend. Your day is near.
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Post by Clipper on Jan 23, 2009 16:27:22 GMT -5
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Post by concerned on Jan 23, 2009 21:03:41 GMT -5
I remember a long time ago I was asked to teach summer school at The House of the Good Shephard. Those kids are just so fantastic and with such inner beauty that I can't understand why they received such abuse that caused them to be eventually placed there. Society failed them and what is so crazy it that society is then called upon to help them. Go figure.
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Post by pasofino on Jan 24, 2009 17:50:26 GMT -5
Hello All, I have read all the posts on this thread that I have missed in the last week...
First off, I SO agree with Bobbiez - You can never know what it is like to not know where your people came from. It has always made me feel like Iwas a ship adrift on the ocean with no anchor.
Thanks to the people on this site, the grace of God (and actually in my case the State of N.Y.) I found my people.
It has been an amazing journey and a whole new chapter of my life has begun.
I visited my 1/2 sister (we have the same mother) for the very first time this past weekend. Her family was welcoming and we all are realising what it is like to develope a relationship with each other.
And if that was not enough, I located my biological Dad who lives in Florida. I sent a certified letter with my contact info and he e-mail me this past week. Then we talked on the phone-he called me. He told me he never knew for sure if I had ever been born.
He told me about my grandparents and how he and his kids went to Italy last year to see the place they were from. It was AWESOME to hear all this stuff about my ancestors.
Hopefully I will get to meet him when he comes North from Florida this May. Also, maybe some of my 1/2 siblings (there are 4 of them) will be open to meeting me.
My mother chooses not to associate with me in any way, and that is OK with me-she does not sound like the type of person I would miss being around anyway.
I feel like a complete person now in knowing my roots. PF
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Post by Clipper on Jan 24, 2009 19:27:54 GMT -5
What a wonderful story Pasafino. I am so glad that things went well with your sister, and that you located and communicated with your father. What a great addition to your life this all will be. I am glad your dad was cordial, and happy to hear from you and amenable to meeting you when he comes North.
I am sorry about the way your mom feels, but that is some of what Denise may be speaking about. It is her loss, for whatever reason.
Congratulations my friend. Your heart must be swelling with joy, knowing that you have a newly found family to communicate with, and possibly play an active part in. I will pray that your other 4 half siblings will also want to meet and want you in their lives.
Your story has been one that has pulled at my heart as we read about it, and waited impatiently for it to unfold. I am so glad for you that it is going well.
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Post by bobbbiez on Jan 24, 2009 21:20:55 GMT -5
Well it's about time girl. lol!!!!!!!! Been waiting anxiously to hear from you. So very happy you're finding all the answers to the questions that you have been searching for. Told my daughter and she is so very happy for you and that you found your Dad also. As you've read, I have stated for all information, one must know who the mother is to obtain the entire family history and that most of the fathers do not even know they have children. With or without direct contact she is the only one with the key to open up the door. As I stated to you before the reaction from your natural Mother is not important as long as you are feeling so grateful to learn where you came from and you now feel completed. I'm so excited for you and reading your post the tears did flow in knowing another adopted child received their birth right. What a thrill! When you get time and your feet touch the ground again give me a call (315-7243862). I want to hear more. I'm so excited and flying just as high as you are. ;D Blessings, Barb
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Post by golden on Jan 24, 2009 21:23:40 GMT -5
My heartstrings are tugged on this situation there are not any wrong or right ways/ Its left up to te individual and the situation. I have my own..
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Denise/Dave,
