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[Swimmy]

froggy said:

For a time I was a single parent. For about a year, between when my son's mom and I went our separate ways, and a year later when I met my wife. While I'm the non-custodial parent, it has its share of responsibilities and issues. Being that my parents are still married, I was not prepared for life as a single parent. My wife, being one with divorced parents, and being a single mother of 3 herself, helped me figure it all out. While the first couple years after the breakup were strained, eventually we've become good friends, and best of all, parents working together toward what is in our son's best interests, not ours.

It's too bad that this is the exception to the rule and not the rule. Society needs more people like this.

[Clipper]

Amen swimmy!

[froggy]

swimmy said:

froggy said:

For a time I was a single parent. For about a year, between when my son's mom and I went our separate ways, and a year later when I met my wife. While I'm the non-custodial parent, it has its share of responsibilities and issues. Being that my parents are still married, I was not prepared for life as a single parent. My wife, being one with divorced parents, and being a single mother of 3 herself, helped me figure it all out. While the first couple years after the breakup were strained, eventually we've become good friends, and best of all, parents working together toward what is in our son's best interests, not ours.

It's too bad that this is the exception to the rule and not the rule. Society needs more people like this.

Thank you swimmy. It means a lot and it is a badge of honor I wear. Matter of fact, when she and I went to court for the custody and visitation hearing, then later for the support hearing, we already had agreements reached. I had a co-worker modify some she did for her husband. Other than a couple of changes for our personal circumstances, they were agreeable to us. The only last minute change we made in the courthouse before going into the hearing was Christmas. After one of the two hearings, the examiner looked at us at the conclusion and said he wished they were all that easy.

The biggest hurdle I had to overcome when we split up was that it was no longer about us (her and I) but about us (my son and I). Once people realize this, that its not about the ex, what they did, what they deserve, etc.. and what is good for the kids, then things usually work better. My son's mom and her husband were at my wedding, as were my step son's dad and his wife. And why not? The kids don't have to feel awkward about one house or the other, or this parent and the other. Matter of fact, my wife and her nursing experience plays a big role in the decisions with his wellbeing, and his mom respects the opinions of his step mom. Being a child of divorced or separated parents doesn't have to be a bad life.

Sorry, kinda hijacked the thread a bit there.

[bobbbiez]

I am one that is not easily offended and only because I've learned to handle my own throughout the years. Think my past bartending days have alot to do with that. Plus the fact I'm known to be a number one big BB myself ;D and you better be an early riser to get one over on me.

I enjoy kidding around and having good debates especially with the younger generalization. Honestly, I've learned alot from swimmy, froggy and other younger folks because of their younger opinions and I hope they have learned as much from me and those around my age. It's all good.

Hey, we probably won't agree with each other often but that's life and the difference between the ages. The important thing is during these debates, especially the "heated" ones, we all have to respect the other's opinions and respectively respond.

I know I will have many "heated" debates in the future with all but, I've also learned that once the debating is done no grudge is held. Over, done with and move on.

Nothing is that hard to have a damn good forum. Follow the rules posted, respect each other in all ways and let bygones be gone. Let's not forget to not lose our laughter either and if I offend anyone in the future by doing just that then you have my apology ahead of time.

[bobbbiez]

froggy,, no need to apologize. We're all guilty of the hijacking thing at times. ;D

[dgriffin]

Swimmy, I don't remember saying younger people were rude and offensive.

[Swimmy]

The thread was deleted. But you had asked how old Jduges was because you found him to be offensive and rude, as you "often find among the young." Or something to that effect. I wrote a lengthy reply that was ignored.

The whole thing is moot now, I only brought it up to demonstrate an example of when anyone expressing their opinion could be subject to disciplinary action under Thelma's suggestion.

[Swimmy]

Froggy,

I meant what I wrote. No need to apologize for hijacking the thread. As Bobbiez already said, we're all guilty of doing that from time to time.

[dgriffin]

Well, my apoligies. I just meant us older folks often more mannerly:)

[Swimmy]

Fair enough, but I have to hold off on my posts before I reach 1,000. Frankcor said a cake is underway to celebrate my 1,000th post. After this one, I have to hold off for a bit. lol

[countrygal]

I'm gonna throw in my 2 cents for what it's worth. I have worked in elementary school settings, dealt with teenagers in different settings and worked at a local college. I have found, that the "younger"generation - those 22 and younger - are more disrespectful than I was at that age. Not ALL of them, but most. I think parenting syles have changed and our social environment has changed. I have found that my 8 year old son says things to me that I wouldn't have DREAMED of saying to my parents and he is punished accordingly. He's picking most of this stuff up at school from other kids. I am (cringing) 41 and I worked at the college when I was 34. I was shocked at how those kids treated each other and other people. They are the product of the world we live in. I'm trying to raise my kids to have respect for themselves and others, but it's an uphill battle with their peers not being taught the same thing. I hopefully lead by example. It may be my age showing, but I too have found a lot (again, not all)of the younger generation ill mannered and rude....except for swimmy .

[bobbbiez]

Countrygal, "YOU GO GIRL!!!!!"

Well stated and shouldn't be offensive to anyone.

At least your kids live in the country and are somewhat protected from the kids in the city who are throwing out plenty of disrespect to everyone, including their parents.

[Swimmy]

In that respect, you're right my generation and younger generations are very disrespectful, rude, arrogant, lazy, etc. People like me, who still say please and thank you, are the exception to the rule. Chivalry is dead in my generation and below.

However, I take issue with older generations dismissing the younger generations' viewpoints merely because the younger generations are younger. Sometimes when the younger generations act rudely, it because it is sometimes the only way to get your attention to hear our viewpoints. Older generations can be just as rude and disrespectful at times.

From my own experiences, younger people are often dismissed merely because they are younger and they don't have as much life experience. That is equally rude when you're a person like me. I research my opinions, I try to gather all the facts and evaluate all opinions before drawing my own conclusion. To have it dismissed merely because I'm a "kid" or "just an intern" is downright rude and offensive.

It wasn't until my second internship in law school that lawyers and judges began to take me seriously. And it took my supervisor defending me against some crass people to have that recognition. I remember that day very well. Two secretaries and one attorney were starting to comment about a particular case and the legal issue involved. They had included me in the conversation and asked my opinion. As soon as I started giving my well-researched and documented opinion (which unfortunately did not agree with theirs), they ripped me apart for being a punk law student and an intern who is lower than a secretary and obviously does not know what he's talking about.

Being trained to respect my elders, I bit my tongue, clenched my fists, and graciously attempted to be accepting of their behavior. After all, I was but an intern. My supervisor, who unbeknown to the rest of us overheard the entire conversation, walked out of his office and into the area where we were. The attorney started applauding him for the brief he had submitted in another case that ended up forcing a settlement that before then seemed unlikely. My supervisor said, "Yeah, you would never know that some punk-ass low-level intern who doesn't know what he is talking about could ever be capable of such high quality work." With that comment, all three of those "professionals" turned red, their mouths dropped, and my supervisor asked me to come into his office to give my legal opinion on another legal matter. It was the same legal matter the attorney was waiting to see my supervisor about.

My parents dismissed my capabilities until a few years ago. Now, my mother has me re-read everything she writes before submitting it to administrators or other policy-making personnel to make sure it reads well and verify that she would include or not include certain topics. I'm the first person she turns to for advice on how to handle a work-related matter. My father will often ask my opinion on a matter before fully formulating his own.

The older generations make a huge mistake in dismissing all of us las being rude and offensive. My friends from law school and I notice that there is a huge difference between our generation and the generations following us. We may be rough around the edges, but we're nothing like the younger ones.

If my friends from law school and I ever do seem rude or come across as being disrespectful it is most likely because we are so infuriated about being dismissed merely for our age differences. I like the Internet's cover of limited anonymity for this reason, among others. It may not justify our temporary outbursts of rudeness, but neither does our age justify the older generations' dismissal our valid work.

There is nothing more infuriating then when you're giving a counter-opinion to an elderly gentleman who starts out paying attention until he learns that you're the intern and only in your mid-20s. Then you can visibly notice him tune you out. But then, when someone closer to his age reiterates verbatim what you said, and likes the comments. How is that not equally rude.

Pick on me for this all you'd like. I'm sure many of you can sympathize because I'll bet my future legal career you've all dealt with this at some level or another when you were my age.

[countrygal]

I have dealt with what you're saying. I deal with it sometimes even more, because I'm a woman. My husband deals with it on a daily basis with his father. The "older, wiser" farmer knows more than his son. Just ask him, he'll tell ya! And.....don't ask me because I can't possilby know what I'm talking about because I'm a woman. We don't know anything, just ask him.

I think I'm pretty good at not dismissisng people because of their age. In fact, I'll be the first one to admit that they probably know more about what they're talking about than I do. What I don't tolerate well, is having someone come at me with attitude and talking to me like I'm a moron. (I'm just saying that in general, not directed at anyone on this forum)(anymore that is). You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. I can understand the frustration. But remember, somewhere out there there is a 60 year old who is being told by some 80 year old that they don't know what they're talking about. There just happens to be more 20 somethings around to pick on than 60 somethings (generally).

Swimmy, I think you're extremely insightful and smart. When I found out your age, it didn't faze me a bit. But I understand where you're coming from. Even when my generation was in their 20's there were people that didn't think our opinions mattered or counted. I don't think it will ever change.

[bobbbiez]

Swimmy, I wouldn't pick on you for giving your opinion on any issue because I've learned through many of your post that you are very knowledgeable and a fine young man with some unique qualities (and I might need your assistance someday after you pass your bars. ) Just kidding on that last reason. ;D
As I've stated before I have learned much from communicating with you on this forum and I thank you for that.

Not all young people have your well upbringing or qualities. I know because in my neighborhood I deal with them on a daily basis.
When we "older" people sound off about some young people it might sound like we're generalizing but that's not the case. I wouldn't even consider putting you in the class of the kids I might be sounding off about. They are the ones who roam the streets committing all kinds of crimes, who don't know what a job is and are down right sickening with their "I'm against any kind of authority" attitudes.

As you grow older and when you start your life in the courtroom I'm sure you will see for yourself why we older folks feel this way, but by no means is it directed to you.

Now, get back to your books. You have a test coming up soon.

STUDY HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!