I need some help with Ethan

[mamastirls25]

We want to re enroll Ethan back in holland patent school in september,

I want a parent advocate because he has an IEP and because he has developmental delay and potty training issues

The school turned me in once for educational neglect because he was out sick on a dr note in kindergarten but they went over our heads and turned us in. so we are currently homeschooling i want him to have a one on one aide the school wont comply

I just dont want to go at this alone does anyone know who i can contact ?? is it the the Dept of education or someone else

[bobbbiez]

Does Ethan have a Doctor and a child counselor? If so, I would contact them for advice and where to get Ethan the assistance he needs.

I think you are in Oneida County and if so call the health services dept at 7985682 and I'm sure they'll be able to work with you to find the right avenues to take.

Hope this helps to find you and Ethan some assistance.

[mamastirls25]

Been there done that bobbiez lol

he has a case manager through cnydso but she isnt much good at all doesnt even come to his monthly visits,

We were told by the school to get a lawyer real nice , I just am exploring my avenues, basically they dont want him in the school because he isnt potty trained and we are fighting it

[bobbbiez]

Do you mean you did call the health dept?

[dgriffin]

Michelle, I hesitate to comment, because you seem to have your mind made up. But I'll take a chance.

It's probable that if you disagree with the opinions, diagnoses, etc. of the school social workers and psychologists, you'll have to provide your own professional and his/her differing opinions and recommendations. If county organizations have not met your expectations, you will have to find services elsewhere and likely pay for it out of pocket. There aren't any angels out there.

If the school is telling you to bring a lawyer, it's likely they feel secure in their position, both professionally and legally.

The school will probably not want to go out and hire a full time aid just for Ethan, and that's understandable, if they're not really sure he needs one. In the school system where I worked, I think there were never more than 2 such aids at a time, grades K-12. And believe me, these kids really needed them. There was never any question in their cases.

Would there be great harm done to Ethan if you were to relent and put him back into school under conditions acceptable to the school? I doubt these folks are monsters and I would expect that if it doesn't immediately go well for Ethan, the school will make changes in his IEP.

I think at this point you need to get yourself into a position where you have tried to do things their way for one semester. Even if you have done so before, it's important that you be able to show currently that you are willing to try the school's plan for Ethan.

I know it's hard for you to not trust your own heart when it comes to Ethan's welfare. But your son isn't in grave danger and you need to reach a mutual understanding with the school so that Ethan can move ahead in his development and schooling. The tough part is you'll probably have to be the first to give. Often, when we give a little, we don't lose out, because we attract people who want to help us.

[mamastirls25]

Dave

Here is my standing

Last september he went to kindergarten, he went 2 days half day because he had oral surgery.. he got an infection so we pulled him out per the dr's orders, he had a medical note to be out of school , He was not potty trained when he started school , he was sent to the nurses office everyday i sent him in underware one day he came home with the dry underware and a pull up on that was frustrating

Dr wanted him to have a tutor school said no, we asked for one on one aide because of his brain malformation they said no but wouldnt send him to a school that would provide one , our dr said so that we didnt get turned in to send a letter of intent to homeschool

the day i sent in the request they sent CPS for educational neglect , they told CPS ethan never attended and didnt have an IEP . We got a lawyer invloved and they backed off

We want him to go back to school but dont want to deal with the bullshit , he has special needs but can be mainstreamed , he deserves a chance ,

They didnt help him with his lunch or anything and he came home upset many times because the kids picked on him because his pull ups were left im his cubby for everyone to see they were supposed to be at the nurses office

I am my sons advocate but im not going back to that pack of wolves without reinforcements

yes bobbiez i called the health dept no help was given , im gonna try and make some calls tomorrow

Michelle

[bobbbiez]

I'll try to find out something also that might help you.
Will ask around and will let you know what I come up with.

The little boy I was a nanny to for six years also had similar problems when he started school and I will call the boy's grandma to ask her what avenues worked for them. She is on vacation and should be back in about another week. As soon as I talk to her, will get back to you.

Keep the faith girl. I'm sure there is something out there that can assist you in the right direction.

[mamastirls25]

thanks bobbiez

[lucy]

What about UCP?

[concerned]

I do know that a school district can send a teacher to your house if the child cannot be in a regular school setting. State laws only require that they receive two hours of education 5 days a week. If you are home schooling him you must use the state curriculum for instruction in the various subjects. I'm not sure how this would apply to special education but I would think the IEP would be something that you alone would have to come up with and it may have to be approved by the State Ed Department. Home schooling can be difficult and I imagine very very difficult in your situation with Ethan.

Have you checked with ARC or United Cerebral Palsy they both are great resource. I do know that the school they have near the Armory teaches children like your son.

When I was teaching there was one class of students that are like Ethan in the building. I think it was classified as Special Ed 4. I'm not sure because I never taught in Special Ed. The level of care neccesary for your child would seem to indicate that the use of an aid would inhance the educational experience of Ethan. You can use that legally so that the State Ed Department would have to allow the schoold district to supply an aid. It is your sons legal right to have the same education that every student( regardless of disability) enjoy.

If I had my education law book I could give you the information. Maybe swimmey can help. If I remember it might have something to do with the 14th Amendant. or the 7th, not sure.

Good luck with home schooling. There are many resources that you can get free to enhance the learning experience of your child. But stick to it and make sure that whatever you do during the time of the day set aside for home schooling that you DOCUMENT EVERYTHING IN DETAIL. You might want to keep detailed LESSON PLANS. I might be able to help you in that case.

[concerned]

Mainstreaming a child who is not potty trained is not going to be easy. Public health laws start to enter the situation. A child in regular ed would not be allowed to enter kindergarten because of that. In terms of a special ed child who is not mainstreamed I am not sure of the educational law.

One thing I do want to say and I say this in honesty not wanting you to take this the wrong way but I really would not mainstream a child like Ethan. The psychological scaring by his peers will become a means for him to be turned off of education and may just cause him to isolate himself which will cause problems many other problems that a child like this does not have to face in his innocent life. Kids can be cruel at times.

[mamastirls25]

Concerned

We dont want him sent to UCP because they said themselves he would become bored he needs to be challenged and when he took his IQ test it has to be below a certain percentage and he was above the percentage and his brigance score was a 78 in order to be UCP or special ed level it has to be below 65 i beleive. So because of test scores they wouldnt give him an aid or special education .

Ethans problem isnt so much mental need as it is physical need , he is a very smart little boy and im not just saying that cuz im his momma his scores showed that also. he just needs a little push , he has cognative delay he knows how to do things just the sequence they are done in messes him up.. We are going to shriners next week to get an eval done and i am going to ask them their thoughts . the state law is no child is left behind but schools dont follow through. They even challenged UCP's diagnosis and it was done by one of the best child pysch's dr gapin and they wouldnt except her paperwork i thought that legally they had too

This is why i got a lawyer ...........

[Swimmy]

I would kindly remind the school district that as long as it receives state funds, it is obligated under the state constitution to provide your son an education. By refusing to assist in any of it, they are unconstitutionally infringing on your son's state constitutional right to an education. Therefore, by law, they should be providing him with any tools necessary to provide him with an equal shot.

I don't know what lawyer you retained, if you have already. If not, I suggest contacting John Dillon, Esq. He's based in Utica. Great guy. I do not know of his experience in this type of law, but I had a co-worker consult with him about a similar issue.

In any case, I hope you are able to get the assistance you need.

[mamastirls25]

Thanks swimmy you said just what i was trying to say... just because he has a bladder issue doesnt mean that he cant be mainstreamed Besides they are getting more state aid money with him being disabled than a regular student

[frankcor]

The extra aid is actually federal funding and it doesn't ever cover the actual costs of providing those services. One-to-one aids are rarely provided in cases where the student is not seriously developmentally handicapped or in a coma.

Based on my experience, Dave's advice to you seems quite realistic. If, in the end, you decide not to bring him back to the public school, start spending some time seeking out support and information from other homeschoolers who may be in similar situations to yours. The online resources for homeschoolers is growing every year.

Best wishes and good luck! Please give Ethan a big old hug from me.