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Post by thelma on Mar 12, 2008 21:39:29 GMT -5
Froggy - So far, I've managed to keep GD and her "love" apart. Currently, he is in Oneida County Jail for violating an Order of Protection she had against him when she pressed Harassment charges against him when he slapped her across the face! Now - she feels "sorry" for him. He has to serve 90 days and he will be facing 3 years probation when he gets out.
All I have to do is contact his Probation Officer and explain my "concern" and he/she can order him to stay away from my GD (of course, she won't know I did this).
Being a Mom and Grandmother, and also a Great Grandma has taught me to recognize trouble when I see it and this boy has no future for himself, let alone my GD. I have to fight this battle all by myself - but I'm smarter than he is and I'm determined to win this battle - LOL!!!!!
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Post by rrogers40 on Mar 12, 2008 21:43:15 GMT -5
I don't want to completely come down on the absence only people because there is just as much of the non absence only programs out there. I think the entire system probably needs overhauled. The problem with the abstinence only is that they don't take into consideration that not everyone will abstain, so those who don't are left at risk for they have not been given the knowledge to make informed decisions. What I don't have a problem with, and is a good compromise, is a comprehensive sex ed program that not only teaches (not preaches) but also encourages abstinence. Something like "we'd want you to wait to do this till your older, but in case you do...." Those who are on the side of sex ed probably already do that, and have no problem with that. Its the abstinence only policy that leaves many at risk. Peer pressure was mentioned, and is a very powerful influence, thelma. Also, thelma, you have kids and grand kids. What happens when you kept telling them not to do something? The more they wanted to do it. There is this desire to find out for themselves. Like my stepdaughter. I don't like her boyfriend because he has that snaky, shady look in his eye. My wife knows my feelings on this and she feels he is not good for her. However, if she were to try to keep them apart, the more she will try to see him. A forbidden love, like Romeo and Juliet. So, in effect, by preaching abstinence only, you will get the kids who are going to go against it. Yea and I think that we need a new way of teaching it also- I have a feeling that with most students today it goes in one ear and out the other because they've heard it so many times. (Then again the entire educational system needs an overhaul like that) |
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Post by dgriffin on Mar 13, 2008 19:23:39 GMT -5
I think that whether or not a kid will abstain can have a lot to do with whether they have plans in life. And, of course, that may also relate to whether they will practice "safe" sex.
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Post by dgriffin on Mar 13, 2008 19:31:52 GMT -5
From Washington Post: STD Data Come as No Surprise, Area Teenagers Say  From the article: "There was a big difference by race: Nearly half of the black teens had at least one STD, compared with 20 percent among whites and Mexican Americans. About half of the teens acknowledged having sex, though studies indicate that by the time they finish the first year of college, more than two-thirds of young women have engaged in intercourse. The report follows other studies indicating that girls today are as active sexually as boys -- and it suggests that many girls are paying a price for that. In 2005, the CDC reported that slightly more than half of teenage girls and boys had engaged in oral sex, which carries the risk of herpes and HPV, among other infections. Still another survey disclosed this year that after 16 years of decline, the birthrate among 15- to 19-year-olds has started rising." tinyurl.com/2ddeol |
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Post by rrogers40 on Mar 13, 2008 22:37:17 GMT -5
 OMG HE SAID RACE!!!!  You can't do that- heaven forbid we actually single out a single group of people who are completely, and Literally,  themselves over! Yea- I've always wanted to use that baned smilely face. |
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Post by Swimmy on Mar 13, 2008 22:48:55 GMT -5
hahahaha. we could tell, lol!
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Post by frankcor on Mar 14, 2008 4:37:02 GMT -5
LOL, that cheered me up. I was pretty depressed after reading this topic. One could conclude that 50 years of progressive educational theory has been a complete failure.
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Post by dgriffin on Mar 14, 2008 8:15:34 GMT -5
LOL, that cheered me up. I was pretty depressed after reading this topic. One could conclude that 50 years of progressive educational theory has been a complete failure. I hope you were being sarcastic, because it's true. Re Race and any variety of PolCorrectness: We mask problems by not speaking of them. In this case, in the interests of "fairness," politicians might implement programs across all the schools that are only needed in some of the schools. |
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Post by froggy on Mar 14, 2008 9:03:59 GMT -5
politicians might implement programs across all the schools that are only needed in some of the schools. AKA, a "one size fits all" policy. |
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Post by thelma on Mar 14, 2008 9:44:18 GMT -5
No one wants to break down these kind of statistics based on race for fear of being criticized - but this one on STD did. I wonder if there are any statistics on which race has the highest percentage of absentee, unmarried "fathers" that also don't pay child support. IMO - I woiuld believe they would point to the same race.
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Post by froggy on Mar 14, 2008 11:25:01 GMT -5
No one wants to break down these kind of statistics based on race for fear of being criticized - but this one on STD did. I wonder if there are any statistics on which race has the highest percentage of absentee, unmarried "fathers" that also don't pay child support. IMO - I woiuld believe they would point to the same race. By not breaking down the stats by race, and other demographics, they would never know who is the most at risk. Some time ago they identified older black males as more at risk for heart attack and stroke than other demos. That means older black males need to be extra careful with heart care. Now, if the statistics point to a particular age, race, sex, etc group as having higher occurances then it would show who and where the message is not reaching, thus they can target them a lot better. As far as support issues, no idea if anyone keeps that kind of statistical data, but there's good and bad out there regardless. I know a few deadbeat white dads who don't take care of their children. My two stepdaughters being fathered by one such deadbeat. Its one thing to pay support and claim the title of "dad". Its a completely different story from actually fathering children. |
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Post by Clipper on Mar 14, 2008 11:25:03 GMT -5
 Oh yes Thelma. Those statistics have been well publicized on many occasions. They are facts well documented, but useless to any constructive effort to change lives of those involved. Obviously if the stats were of any use to anyone, other than finger pointers, the stats would have changed by now. I guess we need to go back to those segregated black and white bathrooms, so we don't catch a STD of the seat, from one of those unwed, absentie, non-supporting persons of the darker persuasion.  Do I detect a little disdain for irresponsible fathers? I think that the study was done on teens, and half of them had participated in munching muff or puffing the pickle. Not for nothing, but has anyone seen any of the stats in this article, other than the bar graph with Blacks leading the field in Chlamydia?  I know if I had a teenager, I would be more worried about them getting herpes from oral sex, than I would be about them catching chlamydia from having sex with someone with more pigmentation than my little angel was blessed with.  Getting married or paying your child support is not a vaccine for STD either. One might want to take note, that herpes simplex can be caught from a pink pickle just as easy as from a brown pickle. Herpes doesn't discriminate by race, and is much worse than some of the other diseases. Would be a shocking surprise to have a teen come home and tell you that they caught chlamydia, and didn't have sex with a black person.  I think that we need to think twice about being naive about the bottom two statements in the link, and think more about the fact that our little angels are about 50% likely to be having sex of one sort or another, and concentrate on educating them about the STD rates and not the race statistics.  Thelma, I would be concerned about what that nitwit white kid that called himself ghetto soldier might have passed by way of a kiss goodnight, than whether black men pay their child support or marry the mothers of their children. Seriously. There are "good kids" that catch this stuff, and herpes is forever.
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Post by thelma on Mar 14, 2008 13:59:50 GMT -5
Clipper - read the personal message I sent you. I'm not a stranger to bringing up teenage girls remember? I managed to get my two daughters thru their teenage years without getting pregnant of getting any of these SIDs and now I'm sure, I can get my 17 year old GD thru them as well. There is very little she can come up with to "fool" her "Nana", that my other two daughters didn't try - and got caught!!!!!!
I know you feel very protective of my GD as you have met her and know what a sweetheart she is and how beautiful she is. Don't worry, I keep strict "control" over her and if there was a way I could make her wear a chasity belt - I would LOL!
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Post by Clipper on Mar 14, 2008 14:43:42 GMT -5
;D  I just read your PM. I guess I should have known that nobody, of any age was going to BS you darlin. You been around the block and know all the lines of bull already after raising all your kids. Haha! I do know and have met three of your grandaughters and think them all to be beautiful and smart. I guess they didn't get that way without a little guidance from Nana, . Silly me! I am glad it is you and not I that is raising Ashley. I would be in my grave just worrying about her. She is gorgeous and vulnerable at her age. She is young enough to be naive, old enough to look older, and susceptible to advances from all the wierdos. Better you than me, haha! Have a good day Thelma. Glad ya got those bases covered already. ;D  |
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Post by Swimmy on Mar 14, 2008 19:53:31 GMT -5
Dave, Froggy, I couldn't have said it better.
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Oh yes Thelma. Those statistics have been well publicized on many occasions. They are facts well documented, but useless to any constructive effort to change lives of those involved. Obviously if the stats were of any use to anyone, other than finger pointers, the stats would have changed by now.
I just read your PM. I guess I should have known that nobody, of any age was going to BS you darlin. You been around the block and know all the lines of bull already after raising all your kids. Haha!