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Post by thelma on Mar 2, 2008 13:25:25 GMT -5
Swimmy - I have lost count of the number of people over the years that have told me that I should write a book about my life's experiences. Trouble is I wouldn't know at what age to start - LOL. Even my kids have all said I was born 40 years ahead of my time as I was doing and accomplishing things unheard of for a woman to do at that time.
I give to the HALL HOUSE (abused women's shelter) and have preached to my two daughters, granddaughters, and soon my Great Granddaughter the importance of never allowing anyone to mistreat them. My "preaching" worked on my two daughters who are both highly independant and never settled for anyone that showed any signs of becoming an abuser - and the same goes for my 17 year old granddaughter.
I'm an avid reader; maybe now that I'm retired, I should think about writing a book! Do you want me to send you the first copy if and when the book ever gets published?
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Post by Swimmy on Mar 2, 2008 15:34:07 GMT -5
It depends on the kind of message you wish your life to convey. If it's one about avoiding abuse, start with how you ended up in that situation, things you realized, did, and how you rescued yourself from it.
That would be my suggestion. Yes, if you do end up writing a book, please let me know when it comes out.
I'm serious, not trying to be sarcastic.
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Post by bobbbiez on Mar 2, 2008 16:26:25 GMT -5
 Hi Thelma, my driving force and factor was a man, a big man  . I can remember my ex husband being dangled by his neck over a foot off the ground and told to get the hell out of "my" life and never come back or come within the city limits to be anywheres near "me," or he would be meeting his maker  . Then that "big"man put his arm around me,hugged me and told me to come with him and he promised to help me get on my feet and he would protect me and my one year old child. That was the beginning of a new life for me and when I learned from that "big" man that I could be a very strong woman in all ways. Thelma, you have met me and see that I am not a very big woman at all but it's pretty funny because there aren't too many men who know me that will mess with me in any way  . Anyways, that "big" man was my DAD . Without him during that terrible time in my life I don't know where I would be today, if I would be. I feel alot of these young girls get themselves in a very bad relationship and do not have anyone like the "big" man in my life or anyone else that can really take the fear away from her and guide her to a better life for her and her children. Remember, I think you stated you were 25 when you made your decision and I much younger but alot of these girls are babies themselves who do not even know how to protect themselves. They do need the guidance and love of many to get the strength to begin their new lives also and then, then we might be able to stop all the child abuse and murders today. Hey, If you need some extra input on that book of yours, I'd be more then willing to help you out ;D.
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Post by denise on Mar 2, 2008 17:31:04 GMT -5
Very sad that the little boy died.
I think part of the problem today is that "girls" are having children way too young with any old boy who happens to be handy. They don't bother to get married, and they move onto to the next relationship. When you are young, you should be dating and having relationships--how else are you going to figure out whether or not you want to be married? But these young girls/women as they are meeting boys/men they are subjecting their young children to them and some of them just aren't dealing well with children that aren't theirs. Wasn't there a similar case rather recently that happened in Boonville??
It appears that this girl had family in the area. She had a choice of whether or not to stay in a relationship with a history of domestic violence or to leave it. She did not provide a safe living environment for her child, and now sadly he is dead because of it.
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Post by Clipper on Mar 2, 2008 17:58:01 GMT -5
;D I have met you Bobbbiez, and I would not mess with you except on line where you can't reach me or my lawn mower tires. Haha. Believe me guys, it would be like messing with one of those little ankle biter chihuahas, haah. She might be small, but she would probably tear us a new one, LOL!  |
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Post by thelma on Mar 2, 2008 18:08:22 GMT -5
Denise - You are right in the statement that too many young girls are willing to have sex with just any old boy and when they end up pregnant, that same young boy disappears in a heart beat. Very few of these young girls are capable of taking on the entire responsibility of raising a child all by themselves. This is when the Grandparents step in and assume this responsibility, or the poor child is put into harm's way and suffers a life of neglect and poverty.
Bobbbiez - When I get ready to write that book, you can bet I'll call on you for additional comments. We can title the book "We paved the way" - written by "Two Old Farts"!!!!!!! I'm glad your Dad was there for you when you really needed him. In my case, it was both my parents that provided me with the emotional help that I needed so desperately.
You are right, the greatest gift anyone can provide an abused victim is to provide her with the support she needs until she becomes strong enough to stand on her own two feet and never look back.
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Post by bobbbiez on Mar 2, 2008 18:10:27 GMT -5
Yes Denise, I agree, babies are having babies. That is the main reason why there is so much abuse in todays world. At their young age the only decision they should be making is, "what dress do I wear to my school dance?" I wonder where this girl's family was during all this abuse and what they did to help protect both her and her child. Tell you a story concerning a young girl I was in back of in the checkout line at the grocery store a few months ago. I complimented this young girl on her beautiful baby sister she had sitting in the cart and she told me, "not my sister, she's my daughter." Denise, my mouth dropped to meet my chest and I'm not one who is shocked easily. This girl (mother) couldn't have been more then 15 years old. The saying, "babies having babies" really hurt home with me that day. That in itself is very sad and a tragedy leading to tragedies. That's how I see it now.
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Post by bobbbiez on Mar 2, 2008 18:27:24 GMT -5
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Post by bobbbiez on Mar 2, 2008 18:31:05 GMT -5
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Post by thelma on Mar 2, 2008 19:31:33 GMT -5
Bobbbiez - Do you remember years ago a bored housewife wrote a book and it became a best seller?
The book we could write together would be anything but "boring"-LOL! But, would you really want anyone to know what we were capable of when we were younger!!!!!! (they probably wouldn't believe us anyways-LOL)
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Post by bobbbiez on Mar 2, 2008 19:50:39 GMT -5
lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes girlfriend, I do remember that book and many more I have read that are quite boring . I'm sure if we wrote one on that subject along with the book I was thinking about writing on a bartender's life, honestly, we'd with no doubt probably have to leave town ;D. Off to watch the Buffalo game. Catch y-all later. 
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Post by Disgusted-Daily on Mar 3, 2008 13:59:19 GMT -5
Well at least this scumbag will no his fate in prison. Afterall there are allot of concrete and brick in a prison. My spell checker is not working either!  |
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Post by bobbbiez on Mar 3, 2008 14:27:55 GMT -5
Todd, just talked to Clipper and let him know that. He's on his way to see his Dad and I have faith in him  to correct the problem when he gets back. Here I thought it was just me that was screwing up. ;D
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Post by dgriffin on Mar 3, 2008 17:29:07 GMT -5
>>> men can come and go and are easily replaceable (if you want them to be!).<<<<
I beg your pardon! So are women, "if you want them to be."
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Post by Clipper on Mar 3, 2008 17:39:19 GMT -5
You are 100% correct Dave. I remember once, many years ago, when an ex-wife thought she would play the old "cut me off" game. I told her that she not only wasn't the only one in Oneida County that had one of those little whisker biscuits, but also that she probably didn't even have the BEST one, hahaha.
Do ya wonder why I have never been successful in marriage? I was never one to take shit from anyone, male or female. I had my faults, but I also was not into compromising my principles for someone elses selfish misguided opinions and bullcrap.
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Hi Thelma, my driving force and factor was a man, a big man 
.
. Then that "big"man put his arm around me,hugged me and told me to come with him and he promised to help me get on my feet and he would protect me and my one year old child. 
.
to correct the problem when he gets back.