Divorce mediation program

[Swimmy]

Divorce mediation program

Hopefully this program will result with fewer costly divorces where the couples literally fight down to the pots, pans, and the kitchen sink.

From my experience observing family court proceedings, it is the adult version of the old junior high he said she said routine. The relationship failed, and rather than settle things like mature adults, they choose to make each other's life miserable out of anger. I've seen it happen many times and it's sad, more so when there are children involved.

Some may blame lawyers, but people do not realize that it is the clients who call the shots. If a client wants to file a complaint against their ex-spouse for being 5 minutes late in dropping the children off and argue that those are the grounds for suing for full custody, the attorney has to make that complaint.

Maybe in a non-adversarial environment the parties will be more likely to settle their differences rather than face a costly trial where a judge will determine who gets what.

[jduges]

I work with members of the peacemaker program. It is a very useful program that extends far past divorce and custody proceedings. When I was a caseworker in Foster Care we relied on them heavily to mediate things like terminations, surrenders, etc.

I am a trained mediator and I can tell you that it is often difficult work but there is so much value if people are willing to put their agenda's aside and work towards a viable solution.

The peacemaker program mediates almost anything you can imagine, from custody to a kid who may be struggling following their parents rules. (as crazy as that might sound). What's interesting about the program is that it relies heavily on volunteers. I've made several referrals to the program and most have come to a satisfactory conclusion.

The pit falls of the program is that it is completely voluntary. If at any time one party wants to end negotiations the process ends.

Swimmy, your last sentence hit the nail on the head. People are slowly starting to realize that if they want control and power over what happens to them they need to mediate or else a judge will determine the outcome.

[Swimmy]

So this is not a new program. I had the impression from the article that it was new to the family courts. From your commentary, it sounds like the program is a success. That's wonderful. Hopefully, as the program's success amounts, it will gain more mainstream attention and adoption.

[jduges]

No this program is not new....I do know that they are continuously offering new services. They have plans on implementing a School Based program in the not too distant future. The hope is to get all districts in the county working on the same page.

Good Luck peacemaker program.......good luck.

[clipper220]

I guess the mediation process has been used for a while, and is sometimes suggested prior to a judge looking at the case. I was divorced several times. Marriage has not been one of my life's successful ventures. Blame was evenly distributed in all of my cases, but it was I who usually ended up signing off on complaints that contained things that were far from true, and allegations that were out of a fairytale book. Many hours of lawyers negotiating back and forth at about $100 and hour for letters, phone calls and such, cost both parties a ton of money, and we finally were divorced because I got sick of the "he said, she said" allegations and paid the price to just be done with it!

I usually surrendered against my principles because it was costing us both a lot of money, and the anger and hostility was not good for the children. I always surrendered the marital residence because it was the children's home, and I could start over easier than the wife and kids.

Any method that shortens the process, and saves stress and hatred, is a worthwhile program. It not only frees up the courts for more important cases, it is more beneficial to all parties involved to end the conflict and get on with their lives.

[losjibaros]

Mediate Schmediate.. when i went thru my divorce 12 years ago the only thing that would have helped was a firehose and a tazer...

like you clipper i said the hell with it and agreed to everything.. just to be done with it...


by now i would be up for parol probably if.... na.. forget it....