boomer
Mild Pushover
Posts: 128
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Post by boomer on Oct 25, 2008 22:58:09 GMT -5
Clipper, take a moment to tell your dad about all the memories you both share, that you will be the only one left to remember soon, and that you'll remember those times when he is gone. I did this for my Mom when she left, and then my dad too. Somehow this will help when you are the sole "rememberer" of certain cherished memeories now.
Nothing troubles me more than remembering a moment with my mom or dad that they were part of, but I am the only one left to remember now. Those are the loneliest ones... when you can't say "hey, remember when..." because you are the only one left. I'm so sorry clipper, I'll be thinking of you and your father's grace in the coming days.
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Post by Clipper on Oct 26, 2008 8:28:47 GMT -5
Thanks for the great advice Boomer and also the good thoughts. I spent 2 1/2 months at my mom's bedside, being the only one of the three kids that is retired. We discussed everything from her childhood memories, to my childhood memories. We discussed family histories and geneology, and her memories of life during WWII, when she worked at a company called National Emblem in NH where they made buttons for military uniforms among other things.
When Mom passed away, Dad came to live with Kathy and I because he had essential tremor so badly that he could do very little for himself. While he lived here, I would sit in his room and chat, and he would reminisce about his good and bad times, all the way back to when he lived on Lansing Street as a very young boy attending St Agnes school. He served in WWII and Korea, and had many tales to tell about his experiences.
We talked about all the great things I remembered from growing up with him as a dad. The camping trips, hunting trips, fishing trips, and just hanging with him while he worked at the gas station he owned at one time. We remembered model airplanes that we had built together on a work table in our cellar when I was very young, and remembered trips to pick mushrooms with my grandfather. We discussed how he had left high school in his senior year to join the army air corps, and got his GED while in the service. We remembered how he sacrificed and the exhausting schedule he kept to get his engineering degree, while working at Univac and running the gas station.
Dad is fading slowly as we speak. Yesterday he slept most of the time that I was there, except when I woke him to feed him vanilla ice cream cups. That is all he want to eat now. His kidneys are shutting down, and his liver is failing, and he wanders in and out of reality with the morphine derivative that they are giving him to keep him comfortable. I hung an 8 1/2 x 11 portrait photo of my mom on his bed curtain at the foot of his bed, and he fixates on it and looks peaceful and happy. I think he is simply looking forward to being with her again.
While he is in no pain, it would be a blessing for him to go at any time now, because he is simply lingering because his heart is stronger than the rest of his organs.
I want to once again express my heartfelt thanks for all the prayers and good wishes during this time of mixed emotion and stress. God bless you all, and thanks again Boomer.
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Post by Clipper on Oct 30, 2008 23:56:25 GMT -5
I just want to thank everyone for your prayers and good thoughts once more.
"My hero" drifted away at about 11:30 this evening. I had spent every hour at his bedside holding his hand, with the exception of what time it took to come home and shower and shave each morning. He was a fighter, and strong of heart and spirit.
Tonight my brother and sister and I were sitting together in his room, very depressed with his lingering, and being in a coma. The hospice nurse came in and told us that she had seen people many times, hang on until the family left to go to dinner or to go home for the night, and then they would let go and drift away. We all agreed to leave, and to get a good night's sleep in preparation for his funeral, etc. He waited until we were gone, and then left this world to once again join my mom and to be with her for eternity.
We had not left Dad alone since he had been under hospice care. My brother or sister and I have made sure that one of us was there all day, and I personally stayed all night each night, sleeping in a chair and holding his hand most of the time.He WAS my hero, and I wanted to be there for him, so he would not die alone.
His passing will leave a hole in my life, and will leave me with the time that I used to spend with him daily, to find some other activity to occupy my time.
I am gratified and satisfied with the fact that I have had the last few years of enjoying Dad's company every day, and having the satisfaction of learning from his experiences, the pleasure of listening to his stories and laughing at his jokes and recollections from years gone by.
My dad passed away October 30, 2008. He was born April 10, 1924 in Utica NY.He was a graduate of Whitesboro High School, served as a waist gunner on B-24 Liberators during WWII, flying missions in the Pacific theater. He once again was called up during the Korean war and served from 1950-1952 as a crew chief on B-29's. He worked for many years at Chicago Pneumatic as a machinist, and later at Univac as a draftsmen and eventually as an mechanical engineer.
He was a wonderful husband to his wife for 58 years, a wonderful father to 3 children, grandfather to 8 grandchildren, and great-grandfather to 2 great-grandchildren.
My "hero" lived a full and successful life. He was loved by all those whose path he crossed, and was respected in his job and the community. I proudly assume the postition of the senior member of our branch of the family, and I have a large pair of shoes to fill. Although my dad was in small in stature, he was big of heart and filled with love for family, friends and life itself. He taught me well, and I will live out the rest of my days trying to live up to the image that was my father. and my "Hero". May he rest in peace.
Thank you for all your good thoughts and moral support during what has been a very difficult time in my life, and a hard transition for me to accept. God bless you all.
Sincerely, Clipper
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Post by countrygal on Oct 31, 2008 7:06:49 GMT -5
Clipper, my sincere condolences to you and your family. My thoughts will be with you as you mourn your father. I'm sending you a big hug.
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Post by kim on Oct 31, 2008 7:24:30 GMT -5
Clipper, very sorry to hear that, but happy your father is no longer suffering.
You know what? My uncle Wesley was a 'belly gunner' in WWII and he worked at Chicago Pneumatic as a machinist from 1949 - 1984 or so. I'd be willing to bet your father new him!
Hugs and happy thoughts are being sent your way!
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boomer
Mild Pushover
Posts: 128
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Post by boomer on Oct 31, 2008 7:51:43 GMT -5
Clipper, I had been reluctantly eyeing this thread, hoping it wouldn't come up to the top again.... knowing what that meant.
Well, today I saw it come to the top. I'm sorry.
I am struck by the grace that you both have, your dad and you. I am also struck by your dad's story, i.e. the waistgunner and his history at CP.
If Tom Brokaw is right, and they ARE of 'the Greatest Generation', it sounds like your dad had a great seat. I will be thinking of you and your dad, as I'm sure will the rest of the gang here at your forum.
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Post by lucy on Oct 31, 2008 7:56:02 GMT -5
Clipper, I'm giving you many thoughts, prayers, and hugs for your family.
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Post by dgriffin on Oct 31, 2008 9:06:28 GMT -5
I'm truly sorry, Clipper. My condolences and prayers.
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Post by concerned on Oct 31, 2008 9:09:50 GMT -5
Clipper, my prayers are also with you and your family as you mourn the passing of your hero. I am sure that your hero is now in the arms of your mom as they rejoice in each other in there new life together. May the peace, love and joy that they are now experiencing in the heart of God fill your own heart and the hearts of your family. When we were born throughout our lives we pray that we are doing God's will. Today your Dad stands in heaven and answers that question by saying: I am here Lord, I have done your will.
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Post by jon hynes on Oct 31, 2008 14:11:22 GMT -5
You were blessed with the opportunity to converse, trade stories and family history and finally say, 'till we meet again. Imagine if he had been snatched from you, and you never got this chance. Write it all down while the information is fresh in your mind, so you and your family can reflect on it in the future. Your time consuming efforts, you can be sure, were well appreciated by your Hero, even though it seemed as if he wasn't always there at the end, and you thought the suffering would never end.
I assure your Hero is in a much better place now, as you are well aware.
No one could ever ask for a better son / friend than you have been to him. Even though I don't believe I have ever met you, I'd be honored to call you my friend. You're an incredible person.
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Post by Ralph on Oct 31, 2008 14:41:40 GMT -5
And so the world becomes less than it was.Our condolences to you and your family Clipper, though you have lost…..heaven has gained. Once more the two of them are together and now it is time for you to pick up the torch and carry on. Children are a reflection of their parents lives. He did well Clipper; he lived with courage, grace and dignity……and has left behind a great reflection of himself in you. Peace be with you and your family and God Bless.
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Post by golden on Oct 31, 2008 23:27:41 GMT -5
Ralph couldnt have said it better, Peace and Prayers with you and yours Clipper.
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Post by Clipper on Nov 1, 2008 9:44:33 GMT -5
MY DAD'S MEMORIAL SERVICE WAS LAST NIGHT. MY OLDEST SON EULOGIZED HIS GRANDPA IN A TOUCHING AND HEARTWARMING TESTAMENT TO DAD'S DEDICATION TO FAMILY.
AMAZINGLY, IT WAS SUCH A HAPPY OCCASION OF CELEBRATING HIS LIFE, RATHER THAN MOURNING HIS DEATH, WE ALL LEFT THERE WITH A PEACE AND SATISFACTION THAT HE WAS GONE TO A FAR BETTER PLACE.
IN CONCLUSION, I SIMPLY WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND YOUR COMPASSION FOR MYSELF, MY FATHER, AND OUR FAMILY. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IS VERY CLOSE TO MY HEART, AND TRULY A FRIEND.
MY FATHER'S STRENGTH KEPT HIM ALIVE WHEN THERE WAS NO QUALITY OF LIFE TO BE HAD. HE WAS IN COMA FOR THE LAST WEEK OR TEN DAYS. HIS LITTLE HEART KEPT BEATING, EVEN WHEN HIS BLOOD PRESSURE AND PULSE WERE INDETECTABLE.
THAT SERVED A PURPOSE, IN THAT IT PREPARED US TO BE HAPPY WHEN HE WAS FINALLY AT PEACE, AND IT BROUGHT MY BROTHER, SISTER AND MYSELF CLOSER, AS WE SPENT OUR DAYS TOGETHER AT HIS BED SIDE.
MY HERO MAY BE GONE FROM MY DAILY SCHEDULE, BUT HE WILL NEVER BE FAR FROM MY DAILY THOUGHTS AND MY MEMORIES. MYSELF AND THE FAMILY ARE ALL DOING FINE, AND ARE AT PEACE WITH DAD'S DEATH. WE WERE BLESSED WITH A WONDERFUL MAN IN OUR LIVES AND HIS MEMORIES AND LESSONS WILL LIVE ON IN OUR HEARTS. MY BROTHER, SISTER AND I WERE BLESSED WITH TWO WONDERFUL PARENTS. MY MOM WAS OUTSPOKEN, MUCH LIKE ME, AND VERY TALKATIVE AND OUTGOING. MY DAD WAS VERY UNASSUMING, NOT A BIG MAN, AND SPOKE VERY LITTLE, BUT WHEN HE SPOKE IT WAS WITH WISDOM. OPPOSITES ATTRACT, AND THOSE TWO HAD AN UNDYING AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR EACH OTHER. MY SIBLINGS AND I HAVE ALL SAID THAT AS MUCH AS WE LOVED THEM, WE WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED TO BE MARRIED TO EITHER ONE OF THEM, HAHA.
DAD IS BEING CREMATED TODAY, AND NEXT SATURDAY, THERE WILL BE A GRAVESIDE SERVICE FOR THE PURPOSE OF BURYING BOTH MY MOM'S ASHES AND MY DAD'S. MY MOM'S WISHES WERE TO BE BURIED AT THE SAME TIME AS DAD. THAT FINAL SERVICE TO THEM BOTH WILL BE THE CLOSING OF THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES, BUT ONLY THE BEGINNING OF MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES AND VISIONS OF THE TWO OF THEM REUNITED IN DEATH AS THEY WERE IN LIFE.
THANKS AGAIN, TO ALL OUR CLIPPER'S CORNER FAMILY, FOR ALL THE SUPPORT, GOOD THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
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Post by lilbump1980 on Nov 4, 2008 14:41:19 GMT -5
Clipper I am sorry for your loss.. May God be with you and your family during this hard time.. Sorry my comments are so late, I have only been on a few min at a time..
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Post by bobbbiez on Nov 4, 2008 20:48:17 GMT -5
My dear Clipper, So very sorry to hear your Dad passed away but happy to see that you and your family have accepted his passing and are celebrating his life. It is very hard to let go of our loved ones but remembering the life our loved one lived is true acceptance of what God ask of us our entire lives.
We all hope to leave our mark in this world and your Dad, through you, has done just that. Through us our loved ones live on. Memories are our greatest gift from God and he knew we would need them to let our loved ones go and make their transition to him.
As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your Dad will always be remembered in my daily prayers.
God Bless you & yours. Luv ya kiddo, Sunshine
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