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Post by bobbbiez on Mar 10, 2008 22:56:36 GMT -5
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Post by dgriffin on Mar 10, 2008 23:02:27 GMT -5
It kinda boggles my mind to think the Vatican has a job position that's responsible for keeping the mortal sin list up to date. Dave, did they mention any mortal sins that have dropped off the list lately? Ahem! Today, the Vatican announced the following sins have been removed from the Mortal List and placed on either the Venial List or the list for Protestants. 1. Laughing in church is no longer any kind of sin if the Bingo sign is lit. 2. You will no longer suffer the eternal fires of hell for cursing out your pastor if he (or she, in the very, very, very distant future ... maybe ... over someone's dead body ... maybe yours) is scheduled to be hung out on a limb anyway for any number of infractions, including, but not limited to, said pastor's kissing your sister if she is under 11 years of age. 3. Causing a ruckus in church because it dropped below freezing as group punishment for the Heat Collection coming in too low will no longer be a mortal sin. Everyone now understands being green is being cold. 4. It is NOT a sin to tell a lie, if the lie is sworn to be true by 2 friends (3 if they're being compensated), despite what's as plain as the nose on your face. This change in the rules is the result of church's recognition of the techniques of modern discourse. See the following example: www.windsweptpress.com/bagbob.htmTake it away, Frank or someone. It's late and I'm getting lame. |
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Post by frankcor on Mar 11, 2008 11:09:18 GMT -5
LOL, Dave. I loved the list.
And the Bagbob 404 is working great.
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Post by froggy on Mar 11, 2008 11:15:30 GMT -5
As long as masturbating while looking at internet porn isn't on the list.
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Post by Clipper on Mar 11, 2008 15:19:28 GMT -5
;D As long as you aren't on a laptop, in the parking lot of a Walmart, as one guy was out near Fulton. He got caught jerking off in front of the new walmart during the grand opening, and got arrested. It was really quite humorous, if it wasn't so damn sad and perverted. His booking photo was with a big grin on his face, so he must have still been savoring the moment, haah.  |
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Post by dgriffin on Mar 11, 2008 16:09:14 GMT -5
Can I do it until I just need glasses? Frank, That's my favorite of the week!! How could I have missed that one in high school!   |
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Post by frankcor on Mar 11, 2008 18:50:57 GMT -5
Well, Dave, I did go to a Catholic high school.
Bobbbiez, let me know if you need me to explained it to you.
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Post by bobbbiez on Mar 11, 2008 23:08:39 GMT -5
 Nope no need to.  I'm thinking you're one that needed glasses at a very "early" stage in your life." Am I close? ;D
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Post by Clipper on Mar 12, 2008 11:10:22 GMT -5
Oh gosh Frank. What does going to a catholic school have to do with needing glasses? Is THAT taught in catechism classes? Hmmm, explains why most priests put on reading glasses to read the gospel, I suppose. (Sheeesh, I hope the lightning rods are working) I guess when I went to St Pauls, I was pre-pubescent, so I was not enrolled in that elective.  Brings new meaning to the argument that you get a better education in a catholic school, haha. I guess if not better, definitely more complete! Haha.  I mean, be real, no mother is going to teach THAT course to homeschooled boys!
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Post by frankcor on Mar 12, 2008 12:08:15 GMT -5
I've worn glasses ever since 5th grade, bobbbiez. Oh wait, I stopped wearing them about 2 years ago.
Clipper, Dave said he'd missed that line when he was in high school. I was the smart ass Arnold Horshack-looking guy in the back of the class with my hand waving, saying "OO OO, Father! Father!"
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Post by Clipper on Mar 12, 2008 19:09:49 GMT -5
 Oh gosh Frank! Stopped wearing them 2 years ago? Do tell! Did ya have laser surgery, buy contact lenses, or were ya forced to finally get a dog with a rigid harness and a white cane because you just plain would not listen, and did it one time too many??? ;D
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Post by dgriffin on Mar 12, 2008 21:03:53 GMT -5
His eyeballs fell out.
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Post by frankcor on Mar 12, 2008 21:56:56 GMT -5
It was actually cataract surgery and they replaced my lens with a bionic one (progressive vision lens)
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Post by Clipper on Mar 12, 2008 22:00:19 GMT -5
Rebushed, repaired, refurbished, and ready to start all over again. Just be careful, and don't do it until ya need glasses AGAIN. I don't know how many times they can give ya a "do over". haha! ;D |
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Post by frankcor on Mar 12, 2008 23:04:08 GMT -5
I'm saving up to get the other eye done, now. I had to switch hands.
(sometimes, I even crack myself up)
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What?
