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Post by Clipper on Jul 11, 2024 14:14:26 GMT -5
Kathy and I went out to dinner last night with friends, came home and watched tv and chatted like we always do until about 11. She said she felt crappy all day and went to bed at 11. At 3 am I could hear her on the baby monitor groaning and struggling to breathe. I could not turn her around by turning up the oxygen flow and called the hospice nurse. We started giving her low dose morphine at 3:30 and at 7 am we doubled the dose and started giving it every hour. She now is resting comfortably but we are dealing with the end of life issues as we speak. The nurse doubts that she will pass within the next 24 hours but that it will probably be soon. She is breathing easy with the morphine. I promised her she would not be going back to the hospital and would die here at home with me by her bedside. All she wants is to die without gasping for breath or drowning in fluid on her heart and lungs. My heart is breaking. We have seldom been apart over the 27 yrs that we have been together except for period of time when I was hauling paper to the midwest each week. She is my true soulmate, best friend, and constant companion.
Keep us in your prayers. I probably won't be on here often from here on out until all is over with and she is resting peacefully in Kirkland Cemetery.
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Post by BHU on Jul 11, 2024 15:57:50 GMT -5
Very sorry to hear this. If it's any comfort she is home with you by her side.
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Post by kit on Jul 12, 2024 7:42:24 GMT -5
Am thinking of you both, Clipper, and hope everything occurs peacefully. God bless Kathy.
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Post by Atticus Pizzaballa on Jul 12, 2024 9:00:18 GMT -5
I am so sorry Clipper. My thought and prayers are with the two of you. God Bless, Kathy.
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Post by clarencebunsen on Jul 12, 2024 9:19:39 GMT -5
Bless you both.
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Post by Clipper on Jul 12, 2024 22:01:50 GMT -5
Kathy passed away peacefully at 4:30 this morning. I have to make the arrangements tomorrow and will update with service info for the Utica services. She will be laid out here first and then shipped to Dimbleby's in Whitesboro for visitation and the full funeral service, mass, and burial.
Kathy was a fighter but having been in and out of the hospital, more in than out since the first week of December had worn her down. She had loss an enormous amount of weight, had become very weak toward the end, and there was no more fight left in her at the end. We were giving her morphine every hour from 3am on Thursday until she finally took her last breath at 4:30 this morning. I was sitting at her bedside, holding her hand. Her respirations simply got slower and more shallow with time with longer and longer pauses between breaths. Hospice is a wonderful thing. She passed away with no pain and without struggling to breathe. When she took her last breath my heart broke into pieces, but I am comforted knowing that she is pain free and at peace. Ever since her first bout with Covid pneumonia in 2021 she has been progressively deteriorating. As sad and lonely as I am sitting here on the first night without her across the room on the couch, I have to take comfort in knowing that she no longer has to fight for each breath and feel the muscle spasms resulting from 7 spinal surgeries.
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Post by BHU on Jul 12, 2024 22:37:48 GMT -5
Clipper, I want to offer you my coddolences for the loss of your beloved Kathy. May she rest in peace.
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Post by clarencebunsen on Jul 13, 2024 7:25:01 GMT -5
She is at peace. Clipper, I am so sorry.
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Post by Atticus Pizzaballa on Jul 13, 2024 9:13:30 GMT -5
Clipper I to am so very sorry for your loss.
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Post by kit on Jul 13, 2024 10:22:22 GMT -5
Clipper, I have no words, but I know the feelings you must have. A doctor friend of mine once told me... when faced with an unfortunate situation like this, the best medicine is 'Tincture of Time'. The feelings you have right now will eventually mitigate... just give them some time.
Will there be an obituary in the Utica OD or will you notify us here in the Corner?
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Post by Clipper on Jul 13, 2024 17:15:28 GMT -5
Just completed the arrangements for the Tennessee services. Her obituary is on the website for Weaver Funeral Home, Bristol Tn.
Services here and transportation to NY came to $9900 and change and I haven't finalized the NY plans with Dimbleby Funeral Home in Whitesboro yet. Bought the casket here but still have to purchase a concrete vault and pay for a mass, flowers, stipend for the priest to do the graveside service, pay the cemetery to open and close the grave as well as transportation from Syracuse and Preparation for viewing. When the arrangements are complete with Dimbleby I will post the link to her services and obit on their website.
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Post by artsyone on Jul 15, 2024 6:39:34 GMT -5
I am so saddened to hear that your amazing partner in life has slipped the bonds of time and space. Please keep us all in the loop if you can about the services at Dimblebies and God Bless you. All my best, Fiona.
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Post by chris on Jul 16, 2024 21:11:26 GMT -5
I was so shocked and sad for your loss Clipper. My condolences to you and your family. Hope you are doing ok.
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Post by Clipper on Jul 16, 2024 22:34:58 GMT -5
I am hanging in there Chris. I have lots of friends and plenty of support here and from my boys in NY and Ohio, as well as the prayers and encouragement from you folks here at the forum.
Fiona. It is very lonely here in the evening without her laying across the room on the couch, and especially hard in the morning when she is not at the table with her coffee. The little dog knows I am hurting and hasn't left my side. If I am at home, she is a step behind me everywhere I go. I took a shower a little while ago and she was laying on the bathmat waiting for me when opened the shower door.
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