Student Subjected to Bullying Paid

[Clipper]

Mar 31, 2010 11:57:19 GMT -5 @stoney said:

If that kid had been at a bigger, more diverse school (like Proctor) I don't think he would have had as severe of problem. It's about time these schools had their feet held to the fire regarding these issues. It wasn't so long ago that blacks were taunted, & measures were successfully implemented to end that. And from what I read in the paper, even a teacher teased this boy.

Stoney, if that were Proctor, the poor kid would most likely have been beaten up and tossed in the dumpster behind the Nice and Easy on Culver Ave. The majority of high school kids are cruel and are a long ways from accepting gays and the gay lifestyle.

The school should have definitely put something in place to monitor and protect this kid, but with the realization of how cruel kids can be, and the obvious discrimination against gays, "coming out" to the whole school may not have been the brightest thing to do either, regardless of his right to do so.

It is very sad. If he school had punished those that harassed this kid, they would have simply caught up with him off campus and probably beat him or demeaned him even more. Damned if ya don't and damned if ya do for the school system.

[stoney]

I don't know about that, Clip. There are a lot of diverse groups at Proctor, more so than when you & I went to school.

Regardless, that kid from Mohawk even had a teacher ridiculing him. Not cool.

[bobbbiez]

Being small when I attended school and a target for some bullies I found if I said something to the teachers and nothing was done, THEN, I became a target even more. I was one of the lucky ones cause I had two big male friends who became my protectors and they put out the message, "if anyone messed with their friend, Bobbie, then they messed with them." ;D

That's exactly what the school's message should become or else this violence will continue. Ignoring the situation just gives the bullies an open door to doing more.

ps: Clipper, you might have known my friends and protectors, John and Carl Phoenix. No one messed with them!

[Clipper]

Yep. I knew the Phoenix boys. You were in good hands kiddo.

Stoney, the kids are hard to control, but the teacher IS UNDER the school's control. HE/SHE should have been fired for sure. That is just plain ignorance and unforgivable for a teacher to take that stance.

[dgriffin]

Mar 31, 2010 12:25:40 GMT -5 bobbbiez said:

The fact that the school officials knew this bulling was going on in both cases and did nothing about it is what upsets me the most. Situations like this only gets worse when nothing is done to stop it. I feel for these kids being subjected to this bullying. As a child it's a lonely feeling when you experience something like this >:(

Exactly, Bobbbiez. We both feel for the kid and I was also emphasizing the money lost when the administration doesn't do their job. If a bullying program is worthwhile, then by all means it should be instituted. In the Mohawk Schools case, it probably would have even been cost effective.

[bobbbiez]

Exactly.

[Swimmy]

Mar 31, 2010 12:25:40 GMT -5 bobbbiez said:

The fact that the school officials knew this bulling was going on in both cases and did nothing about it is what upsets me the most. Situations like this only gets worse when nothing is done to stop it. I feel for these kids being subjected to this bullying. As a child it's a lonely feeling when you experience something like this

Speaking from personal experience, this goes on regardless the school size. I swam, and was good, believe it or not. Kids called me a faggot because I shaved my legs and arms to get a better feel for the water during championships. I was winning section iii titles while our football team was earning losing records. But that didn't stop them from breaking my locker door off and stealing all my notes. It didn't stop them from sneaking into the pool locker room and raiding my clothes. It didn't stop them from cornering me in the gym locker room after class while the gym teachers (football and soccer coaches) laughed as they looked on. It didn't stop the other gay kids from calling me names (oddly after high school, they quickly came out of the closet but don't understand why I won't accept their Facebook friend requests or their drinks when they see me at a bar). It didn't stop teachers making jokes behind my back. It didn't stop other male teachers from saying, "Well you do shave your legs don't you" and telling me to suck it up. It didn't stop the hockey team from chasing me around the gym with hockey sticks during floor hockey when I didn't even have the puck. It didn't stop the numerous bruises on my body, or the emotional distress. It didn't stop the people I thought I could rely on as friends from looking the other way or participating to keep their "cool" status. It didn't stop my parents from deciding to tell me that there are always going to be evil people out there and I'll have to find a way to deal with them. When Columbine happened, I thought, good idea, just wrong victims. It didn't stop countless horror stories from happening. And I was just a swimmer who could win and represent New Hartford High School in NYSPHAA States Swimming championships three years in a row.

And stoney, I know plenty of other kids from Proctor who took the easy way out...

I share this not for sympathy; I want none. I share it because this crap has gone on for many many years. This is no shocker to me or any other victim of school bullying. It's just sad that it took so long for someone to help fight for them.

[bobbbiez]

Swimmy, that's exactly what I've been saying. Being a victim of vicious bullying myself I am in full favor of the schools being responsible for the safety of all students and implementing some kind of program to cease this kind of horrible actions to those who have no defense. Like I stated, for a child it is a lonely feeling to be bullied and can become very deadly for the innocent.

[Swimmy]

Sorry bobbbiez, I quoted the wrong person. I thought I quoted stoney.

I agree and I'm glad to see it is slowly starting.

[bobbbiez]

Swimmy, no problem. It's late and after a long day we all make mistakes and that's coming for the pro. ;D

[bobbbiez]

.................in making mistakes. ;D

[stoney]

Swimmy I agree the schools should do something about it. I said that. I was just trying to make the point that smaller schools that are not diverse demonstrate little tolerance for anyone who's 'different', & there should be NO excuse for it!

[dgriffin]

Gee, maybe at this point I should pipe up about Catholic schools, not that I'd ever go back to one. But frankly we were small schools with high school graduating classes numbering in the 70's and 80's. We weren't very diverse back in the fifties, but if you ridiculed a fellow student for anything, you were dealt with, sometimes severely. That's because the people who ran the school stressed that you were privileged just to be there getting an education instead of working on a dock somewhere when you turned 16 (or 12 some decades earlier.) This was a no bullshit crowd who didn't care what your parents thought about that, and would tell you to pack it up and leave if things didn't meet with your approval. But your parents would have agreed with them before sending you to the school.
Even as a kid I liked that idea, to be honest. I felt like I had to make a decision to behave, and when I did I was proud of myself. I know there are millions who speak of being beaten into submission in their Catholic schooling. I wasn't. Roughed up a few times, maybe.
My wife has unpleasant memories of her Catholic schooling, but she was a pisser.
I was no goody two shoes, but perhaps more willing to negotiate.

You can't run a public school that way today. Too many lawyers. Real and imagined.
Would a Catholic school have kept a homosexual among it's student body, either back then or today? I don't know, having never inquired. I certainly remember some kids who probably were, but no one asked and no one told, as far as I know.

[Clipper]

With the number of homosexual priests that they have ordained and put upon the parish members, I would really like to know how they WOULD address it.

My mother converted to my dad's religion when I was about twelve years old. I was taught my catechism for my first communion by Father Lutz at St Pauls in Whitesboro. Because of my age and the off cycle first communion, I was given private lessons. There were a couple of times that we piled into Father's El Camino and went fishing on the Oriskany Creek while he questioned me about my catechism lesson. Other times it was at the rectory. Nobody back then in the fifties would have even thought to suspect any wrong doing, and there was never a doubt in my mind that Father was a man's man.

The fact that so much homosexuality and child molestation has come to light, makes me sick to my stomach. Parish Priests are supposed to be our spiritual guides and examples. It is a shame that truly dedicated priests that have actually received a call from God to enter the priesthood, have to have their reputation suspect and tainted by the sick deviated creeps that molested children under the auspices of being their spiritual advisors.

Should one of those misguided and sicko priests found a gay lad in a catholic school, he most likely would have had a heyday and truly took a toll on the kids self esteem.


With all the uproar about molestation by priests, I think the church should probably keep a low profile on gay issues in the schools AND in the churches for the present time, or be labeled as hypocritical. We looked upon our parish priests with awe and respect in my younger days. Although I am no longer a practicing catholic, I find it sad that a lot of that respect has been destroyed by a select few.

[dgriffin]

Yup, it is indeed sad. Not at all peculiar to the Catholics, of course. My resident expert here ... well, she's out at the moment ... tells me the stats are the same across religions.

But you know, I was just thinking along similar lines the other night. Kids would go off with priests and ministers fishing and camping and whatnot. A clergyman often filled the role of an impromptu (or real) coach or uncle-like older friend. These days, any man of the cloth would have to be crazy to act in those roles without a cloud of witnesses nearby, pun intended. And there are men and women who really like kids and enjoy being with them, running sports, etc. Today, they have to be very careful. In fact, a friend in orders tells me he and his colleagues have been advised against any fraternization.